My wife is a high school teacher and students often tell her they wish she was their mother. Yet, she has two daughters who will have absolutely nothing to do with her.
How does that make sense? It doesn’t unless you understand she, like the children, is a victim of a vindictive narcissist who relieves his anxiety and self-hate by manipulating them to share his hate. She has not seen, talked with, or received any communication from either for over three years. Yet, she leaves a message or text every day. She still cries at night although the last time she spoke with either she was told what a terrible person she is.
It’s very difficult to not blame yourself when you are a victim. But, she, like all victims, need to keep trying.